It is 2025, and we mothers need each other more than ever. We need real friendships. We need to go deep and talk about the hard stuff, walk alongside each other, and be there for each other. This is my story of motherhood on the trail- the joy of finding a kindred spirit and truly doing life together. I hope it encourages you to seek out mama friends. There is another mama out there who needs real companionship in this digital age.
The year 2019 brought many changes for my family. We welcomed a brand-new baby, and my eldest was diagnosed leukemia at age 5. An emergency flight to the city was followed by a total life change. We moved away from where we had grown up, and my husband began a career change that would take 5.5 years to complete. Newly thrown into the world of pediatric cancer and hospital life, we moved in with family for most of a year, wrangling 3 little boys while navigating a life-threatening illness and all the uncertainty that comes with it.
Leaving everything I had known and facing a parent’s worst nightmare left me in a season of soul-drought. I felt numb in ways I didn’t want to feel. For a time, we mostly stayed away from people, limiting our contact with other young families as our son’s blood counts were dangerously low.
I began to feel starved for friendship. When you live in the same area where you were raised, the relationships and friendships often go way back. Suddenly I found myself as the “new person”, and it was harder than I expected to make mama friends. Many seemed to already have their long-term friend group, and I felt like an outsider.
As soon as my son’s counts were up enough, I was eager to start attending park days and finding friends.
Then the pandemic hit. Many stayed home. Park days were canceled. Even the regional parks closed. Churches closed, some for many months. My husband still attended as he served in worship leading, but I sat at home watching the service on the computer with my children.
Eventually, I couldn’t handle the isolation anymore and decided to visit an open church. After the service, I headed to pick up my kids from Sunday school, watching all the kids running around enjoying their time together.
And there she was. A mama approached me. “You have 3 boys?! I have 3 boys!”, she exclaimed. What do you like to do?”
“I like to hike,” I responded.
Her eyes lit up as she smiled, “So do we!”
And so it began. That very week we met for a hike. Week after week we met and hiked together. Grateful and hungry for a friend, I would drop everything when she texted, gather the water bottles and hiking boots, and whip up a batch of muffins to bring on the trail.
What began as a simple shared interest in the outdoors developed into years of friendship and mentoring.
The memories we have made are enough to fill my heart to overflowing. Being out in nature fuels me, refreshes me, and leaves me ready to go back and tackle the cares of motherhood once again.
But being out in nature with friends is like the cherry on top.
Motherhood on the Trail
On the hiking trail, I feel free. Free from home and the endless barrage of tasks calling out to me. The laundry, dishes, spills, and cranky kid moments can feel stifling at times.
Out in nature, with our children running ahead on the trail, I am side-by-side with a friend. As we climb a steep hill, the stress slips away as the endorphins kick in and blood flows. My head clears in the fresh air. The wildflowers, trees, creeks, and newts delight our boys and bring smiles all around.
As I hiked with my friend, our conversations began as get-to-know-you and gradually went deeper and deeper. I was honored to be a listening ear as her family began to face their own crushing trials. I never felt like I had much to offer, but sometimes just walking alongside someone and providing a listening ear is what they need the most.
We never set out for it to be a mentor relationship. But looking back over the years together and the countless hikes, conversations, and memories, I realize how much she has encouraged and taught me. She has been a spiritual mentor to me at a time when I needed it but was too numb to even know what I needed.
Why mothers still need each other in person.
In this age of social media, we see constant glimpses into the lives of other mothers both nearby and across the globe. Their highlight reels show all their beautiful moments: beautiful homes, beautiful dresses, beautiful children. Even the ones who go a little deeper and share some struggles aren’t sharing the whole picture of their lives. I know I myself have fallen into this. I joined Instagram right as I was getting into photography, and the beautiful photos were such an inspiration as I worked on growing my skills.
The danger with so many beautiful, picturesque feeds is that we may feel less comfortable opening ourselves up to true and deep friendships. Less likely to meet in the everyday moments, to welcome each other in even on the messy, grumpy days.
Social media can leave us feeling like we have friends, when in actuality we may have no one who knows what we are going through, no one to bring us a meal when we are sick or send us a text of encouragement on a hard day.
But the fact is that we mamas need each other. We need each other in the everyday, not just on the pretty feed or in a direct message. I need to see the way she handles her children, see her still showing up and caring for those around her, even on the not-so-great days. I need to hear her struggles and feel the courage to share my own.
Opening ourselves up to close relationships can feel scary at first. Sometimes we say things we regret, or parenting differences make things difficult. But real relational growth comes from these times, not from scrolling a feed and observing what other mothers are doing. Rubbing elbows and truly doing life together is not always pretty, but it is needed. Motherhood on the trail is a chance to walk alongside someone and hear their story, while both children and mamas benefit from exercise and fresh air. It’s truly my favorite way to spend time with other women.
“Something about just being with you
When I leave I feel like I’ve been near God
And that’s the way it ought to be
‘Cause you’ve been more than a friend to me
you fight off my enemies
You have spoken the truth over my life.
You’ll never know what it means to me
Just to know you’ve been on your knees for me
Oh you have blessed my life
More than you’ll ever know.”
-Christy Nockels, “More than you’ll ever know”
Ideas for finding kindred spirits and implementing motherhood on the trail:
- Invite a friend or acquaintance to join you on a walk or hike
- Pack a snack to share
- Bring field guides or travel watercolor sets for the kids to learn on the go
- Bring her a coffee or a cold drink
- Be honest with what you can do in each season and when you need to set boundaries – this can be hard!
- Be real and honest, and enjoy getting to know someone at a deeper level
What about you? Have you found it hard to make friends as a mom? What is your favorite way to spend time with other mothers and develop deeper relationships? I’d love to hear in the comments.
This post was all about motherhood on the trail: finding kindred spirit and really doing life together
